Friday, March 19, 2010

Hey I'm tired, too!

You can stand over me all you want, I'm not going to look up.  Yeah you might be an old man... or you could be a young dude.  Either way, I'm not taking the chance and risking a guilt trip.  Hey look, I'm tired too.  I was up 'til 4 playing games.  Don't judge, I'm entitled.  And these legs... I know I look young but these knees feel like 40.  Yours look pretty fit.  And look, you just opened your wallet and put your Metrocard back in with one hand.  Shoot, I can't even-... oh wait, I think that was an AARP card.  Whatever that doesn't mean anything.  Probably got it off the internet or something.. what people do these days for discounted bowling.  Shameful, is what it is.  Ugh.. well, I guess I could stand... but how am I gonna hold my coffee??  At least you could put your bags of groceries on the floor.  I'm just gonna close my eyes and pretend like I didn't see him... or that sticker with the heart on it that I'm sitting on.  I mean come on, would I really get arrested for this?  How do they know I don't have mono or something?  Or maybe I'm emotionally devastated... does that count as a disability?  In the court of law?  No, YOU'RE being ridiculous!

Alright alright fine, you can have my seat but know this... I am doing this because I want to, not because I feel obligated or that I fear judgment from my fellow riders.  I'm doing this because I'm a goo-.. oh hey that pregnant lady is getting up.  Whew, crisis averted.  Goodnight


  1. i gotta buy you a knee brace, that you can put on as you enter the station.

  2. hahha! totally what goes through my mind when I'm on the train!

  3. i'm a blood hound when it comes to empty subway seats. i'm not proud of it ...